When Your Fire is Burning Low

What do you do when your fire is burning low? This wonderful question emerged in our monthly Soul Matters reflection group, and I imagine it’s one that a lot of us have struggled with, now especially as we come up on 2 years of dealing with Covid, as we hear the heartbreaking news out of Ukraine, as we who live in the North East enter March, which is often a grey and discouraging month, perhaps some of you have low burning fires this morning. At the same time I know some of you are already excited about spring and travel plans, so I don’t want to assume all of our fires are burning alike.

Let’s begin by just noticing, how is your fire this morning? What is the energy like in your body? In your mind? In your spirit? In your heart?

Now, I invite you discern- for what do we need your inner fire? I remember when my son was young he and his friends would have so much energy I couldn’t keep up- they would run and play for hours. I remember one young friend who, after a fun day at church camp, literally fell asleep while sitting at the dinner table, head into her spaghetti – that bright, fast fire had burned all her fuel and she couldn’t even eat dinner.

Those of us who are not children have to tend our fires more carefully. We live in a culture that values more-faster-bigger, as if one could or should burn brightly at all times. We know that this is part of how we got into our global climate crisis- this craving for infinite easy energy. Instead of wanting to burn bright all the time, we can develop the skills to match our flame to our precise needs.

So let’s take a moment of silence to discern- for what are we hoping to use our fire? Not someday, or for the rest of our lives, but for right now, and maybe for the rest of today...

I know that my mind can always imagine endless goals and tasks. So I invite you to be sure to check in with your body, your heart, your inner wisdom as well. Sometimes our inner wisdom has turned down the fire for a reason- perhaps we need to process or grieve something we have been through, and would best do that now, in a time when our fires are low, before starting something new. Perhaps our fires are low because we are out of fuel like my young friend, and need to restore ourselves before our flames leap bright again. Perhaps this is just kind of a boring time, an in between time, and we are saving our fuel for a time when we are going to need it for something special, for something important. Pause and ask yourself, what do I most need my inner fire for in the interest of health and wholeness of myself and the web of life? 

Get back in touch with that feeling of your own fire, your own energy level or motivation right now and compare that to what you are hoping to use it for today. Is the way we feel today a good match? If it’s not a good match, consider this, what would it be like to match your day to your fire, rather than changing your fire to meet the day? If, for example, you are recovering from an illness, or slowing down after a busy week, or just haven’t been quiet and still for a while, what would it be like to imagine a day that matches the energy you have right now?

Did that idea feel like a relief?
Or maybe a “yes but!” asks to be heard. If so that’s great feedback- what is that “yes, but” asking for? Does that “yes but” comes from a place of aliveness, a place of your own inner wisdom? Like- yes, but the sun is shining today and I want to get out into it! Or, Yes but, I miss my friends and want to see them?
Or does it come from a “should” – I should get something done- it’s Sunday. Or I feel lazy when I don’t get anything done? Just notice...

If we have discerned that this is a moment that calls for more fire than we have in our bellies right now, remember that fires need 3 things- fuel, air and heat. Perhaps this metaphor will help us skillfully tend our inner fire.

What fuel are we giving our inner fire? are we getting enough good food? Plenty of water? Plenty of rest? What gives fuel to your fire?
Is there enough fresh air moving in our lives? New ideas? New perspectives? What ways do you bring fresh air to your fire? 

How about our metaphorical heat? In the body we literally build heat by getting up and getting moving, doing activities that warm the muscles. It turns out the same concepts works for our psyches as well- a recent study shows that just getting up out of your chair and doing something, pretty much anything, helps change our spirits. This is called “behavioral activation.” It doesn’t have to be a big action, it can be a small action, like adding small, fast starting kindling to a fire that needs a boost. When I get sluggish in the afternoons but still have work to do, often just a quick walk down to the kitchen to fill my glass, perhaps moving the laundry or watering a plant gets me moving in a helpful way. Sometimes just stirring up the coals of a fire makes old fuel available in a new way, and a burst of fresh flames results.

Fire builders also suggest moving your logs closer together which helps them hang on to their warmth. I often find that when I don’t have enough energy to do the task I believe is important, teaming up with a friend often helps get me started. Lately, whenever I feel like I am not up to a task, I assume my inner wisdom is correct- perhaps I am not up to this task if I do it alone. When my partner and I have a chore that neither of us feels motivated to do, we do it together. It’s why our congregations have done their pledge drives together these past 2 years- the heat from our community helps us retain our own heat.

As Rev. Soto suggests in her poem:

[the invitation] brings us … to a hearth around which
we gather to be nourished, energized, and
warmed and where we get ready to disperse,
enlivened.

When I was young, we used to pile as much wood as possible on our campfires building the biggest, hottest fire we could, but these days we are more circumspect in our approach- when the fire is getting low, we ask “how much longer are we going to stay up tonight? How much longer do we want to tend this fire?” If the party is just getting started, we will add more logs, stir up the coals, make sure air is flowing through and enjoy the new dancing flames we have created. But experience has taught us that a fire without great leaping flames has its own gifts- you can get a nice, even toast on a marshmallow over some mature coals. It can be peaceful and warm just to sit and watch the embers glow. Like the grandparents in Lights Out Shabbat knew, there’s a lot a wise person can do with a couple of candles when all other power is unavailable.

I think that, metaphorically, I have been doing a lot of this lately. My fire is often lower than before the pandemic and if I don’t have any special need for bright hot flames, I remember that embers can produce a reliable steady heat. What could I do by these warm steady embers? R
ev. Rebecca Parker writes:

A chair by the fire,
A window that looks out on bare trees, and a
Cup of tea are all it takes to begin turning the world upside down.
This is prayer:
Seeing the world in all its beauty and need,
Dreaming a world of gratitude and justice.

This can be a beautiful time for dreaming a better future, for study, for introspection, for prayer and meditation for sharing warmth with the hearts of those our loved ones and our community.

Or maybe it’s just time to rest, We learned earlier in our tutorial about "banking your coals" we that by carefully stewarding our embers one can save those coals for later, overnight even, by banking the coals .We can preserve the warmth and some of the fuel of the coals by pushing all our embers together in a tight, small space and covering them with ash so there are no active flames. Perhaps it would help for us to think of ourselves as “baking our coals” on days when we are staying home in this time of covid, in the cold grey wet days of March. Perhaps I can reduce my carbon footprint and preserve other resources while I am resting up and staying close to home, saving fuel and heat for a future time when I want to be ready to leap into action when the need is clear. Our fire teacher tells us that having banked coals is a great way to have a quick start in the morning- just a spark and a fresh log gets your fire going for the new day when you need it most.

However your inner fire is this morning, whether you are burning high with the promise of spring or the passion for justice, or whether you feel like you are just keeping a few embers burning, I wish each of you the wisdom and skill to tend your own unique and precious flame. I wish you enough fuel and air and warmth to fulfill your unique calling, and I offer you the warmth of community, which helps us keep all our embers aglow.