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| Image by Tanya Webster (chalicedays.org) |
If you want to know what it means to put love at the center, look no further than our congregations. Look at the way we show up for one another in good times and bad, the way we listen to one another, the way we extend welcome. Love has been at the heart of these congregations since their founding. Remember that story Katie told us about Sheshequin founding member Joseph Kinney and the way he shared what he had in a matter of fact way with those in need, “just what I owe” he said. Remember the women of the Cortland church who sewed bandages for soldiers, and were part of the underground railroad.
These past 4 years through and beyond the pandemic have been hard for everyone, but we kept love at the center. When other organizations were tearing themselves apart, letting fear and conflict take center stage, even in our anxiety, even in our loneliness, our grief, our confusion, we kept love at our center. That meant not only staying connected -- delivering goodie bags door to door, crying and laughing and sharing together -- It also meant when the zoom failed we all took a breath and remembered everyone was doing the best they could. When hard things happened we spoke the truth with love, Even when we were afraid of zoom bombers we kept our gatherings open to newcomers. We showed up in vigils and study groups to fight racism, we wore masks to protect the most vulnerable, we supported our neighbors when they needed help.
So Today I don’t need to explain how to keep love at the center, you know. It is the flame we keep burning all these decades, since the 1800s. It is the most precious gift and wisdom of our Universalist tradition. One of the things I respect and cherish most about these congregations is how you have helped me grow to be more loving, to keep love at the center. It’s in your DNA. It just feels natural and right to be loving when we are together.
This past June all the delegates from all the UU congregations voted to pass a new statement of values. 7 values, with love at the center. Notice as you consider the 7 principles that we still cherish, notice the word “love” does not even appear. How might it change us to have love at the center of our UU values?
There was much drama and many opinions at GA this summer, but one of the things I noticed was the concerted effort to keep love at the center even when we were talking about hard things. There was a moment when we were discussing a Business Resolution, “Embracing Transgender, Nonbinary, Intersex and Gender Diverse People is a Fundamental Expression of UU Religious Values.” and the conversation was getting really hard for our trans siblings. Rev. JeKaren Olaoya got up to the microphone, and used her 90 seconds to just remind our trans uu siblings “I love you” she said “I love you, I love you I love you.” The resolution passed by 91.8%[i]
It's not enough to simply pass a business resolution that calls for love and acceptance, putting love at the center means the process too must be centered in love, even when it is hard.
Here are those words from our values statement, that are new to us now but will become familiar over time:
“Love is the power that holds us together and is at the center of our shared values. We are accountable to one another for doing the work of living our shared values through the spiritual discipline of Love.”This language is a bit different than we often think about love in movies and valentine cards, because sometimes people misunderstand love in a way that ends up encouraging folks to stay in situations they shouldn’t, to put up with actions that are harmful. Much care was put into the writing of this statement, to challenge ourselves not to have love be just a feel good meme, but to get us through hard times, like we saw each other through the pandemic.
The words that keep this new statement of value from being more than sentimental poetry – accountable... work… living our shared values…spiritual discipline.
The word Accountability has been key to our anti-racism work. Some of you will remember that there was a proposed 8th principle to help us name our commitment to anti racism. This was part of what started us on the journey to our new “Article 2” – our new statement of shared UU values.
The 8th principle, which was adopted by many of our congregation says:
“We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and promote: journeying toward spiritual wholeness by working to build a diverse multicultural Beloved Community by our actions that accountably dismantle racism and other oppressions in ourselves and our institutions.”We see some of that language in our new UU values. .. accountable … work ... This love we are putting at the center is a rolling up your sleeves kind of love. It is also the kind of love that says “I’m sorry” when we hurt someone, a love that listens to voices at the margins,
Some of you remember that as part of our work to become welcoming and anti-oppressive, we talked about a platinum rule; to love your neighbor as yourself is golden for sure, but the greater challenge is to love your neighbor as they would like to be loved. That’s accountability- checking in with your neighbor about how our lives and loves touch one another.
Our new value statement describes Love as a spiritual discipline. A spiritual discipline is when you create an intention, and whenever you find yourself straying from that intention, you call yourself back.
A yoga teacher once suggested when in meditation your mind wanders, think of it as a puppy in you lap, and how you would gently encourage it to return to your lap when it wanders off to explore. That’s all a discipline is, calling ourselves back again and again in a compassionate and loving way.
When we adopted our dogs Rosie and Ginger, they had been mothers in a puppy mill, and hadn’t been raised to live in a home with humans. They were so reactive and anxious. Our vet recommended that there was no training goal as important as helping them learn that our home was safe for them, and that we loved them. It worked! They still have some quirky behaviors, and they still don’t know how to sit when I say sit, but they learned to trust us. And if we are in a confusing or dangerous situation, they look to us for guidance and comfort, they run towards us if we are apart. As Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in his speech, Loving Your Enemies said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”This new statement that was years in the making with a long process that was open to all UUs everywhere. I hope folks will approach this as a time of exploration. We UUs don’t have a creed, it says right at the end of the statement that “Congregational freedom and the individual’s right of conscience are central”[ii] But I hope it is fun and interesting to consider this new statement and know that other UUs all around the country are studying it too, figuring out how we can live into it in our diversity and in our unity.
I’m so proud of our congregations, and how we have been leaders for a long time in keeping love at the center. I wonder how we will keep faith with the spiritual disciple of love in this next chapter of our story together.
[i] https://www.uuworld.org/articles/uua-ga-2024-what-happened-recap-article-ii-a2-aiw-results-ware-lecture-unitarian-universalism
[ii] 1 Section C-2.5. Freedom of belief.
62 Congregational freedom and the individual’s right of conscience are central to our Unitarian
63 Universalist heritage.
64 Congregations may establish statements of purpose, covenants, and bonds of union so long
65 as they do not require that members adhere to a particular creed
