This time of year, after the winter holidays, when days are short, and even the squirrels spend much of the day hunkering down in their shelter, there is a possibility of drawing inward, of being moved by the stillness and relative quiet of midwinter. For some of us this is a welcome opportunity for contemplation, for others it is just bleak. Today I want to offer some concrete guidance for this contemplative time, specifically focused on “finding center”. Many contemplative and psychological traditions speak of the value of centering, which is actually something pretty ordinary we all can do. To me finding my center feels like disentangling all the loose threads of my life, the projects, the relationships, the drama, even the input of sound and sight, like pulling all the tendrils of my attention back in toward myself. “here I am!” It might feel simple, or peaceful, or solid, or balanced. I like the metaphor of “coming home” to oneself.
And like when we come home after a day of work, or our travels, what we find when we arrive there is highly personal and individual. Perhaps some of us this morning feel rested and full after the holiday time. I confess to you, however, that after a couple of weeks of preparation, and services, and visitors and traveling, I am a bit wiped out, and somewhat off my game. When we arrived home on Monday, after visiting my sister in Boston, we were so ready to be home, but we were also exhausted and spent, and while grateful to be back, all of us noticed this week that reentry was a challenge. Just so, when we return to our metaphorical center, we might feel the relief or arriving back where we belong, the peace of letting go of all those threads, or a post-holiday jumble needing our attention.
If there are no guarantees of peace or bliss when we find our center, why bother? The world is big and complex. We can’t even experience it all, let alone fix it all. When we find our own center, we can tell what is ours, and what is ours to do. Our center is a good place to be for discernment -- there is a truth and a clarity available when we center ourselves. When we are off adventuring in mind or body, it’s easy to say to our concerns “not now” but when I come home to myself I often feel grumpy- that doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong, because I don’t feel peace, it means that this is the truth of what is real for me in the moment- I ate too many cookies, didn’t get enough sleep, and I still have all the holiday decorations and supplies to put away before I can get back to normal. When I centered myself this week, it was clear to me that I’m depleted and out of sorts, and grounded in that truth I could make choices. The center s the place where I know myself, this is where I must return to know the truth that only I can know.
Our center is also where we are the strongest. When we center, we bring all our energy, our attention to where we are located in this time and place. Think of a squirrel skittering around a big old tree – that trunk can hold so much weight, it doesn’t even notice the squirrel. But as the squirrel gets closer and closer to the end of the branch, it sways and buckles and sometimes breaks. This week I had the delight of watching a juvenile squirrel learning how far out a branch he could safely travel, and how much branch he needed to support him. The squirrels know, when the branches sway, to scramble back to the center. The center is where they build their nests. This is why it can be useful to find your center in tumultuous times. To bring your sense of self, your attention, your energy to the core of who you are, as you understand it. In the same way that during a hurricane, people are encouraged to go to the center of their home -- a small downstairs room in the interior. Imagine a part of yourself like that- a small interior space where you are ready for whatever storms may come. Perhaps you have experienced this, a time of trouble when you felt centered and ready, you were able to set aside all the distractions, and just focus on the important thing in the moment.
Finding center is not a place we reach once and for all, but a place from which we come and go. As we return again and again to our center, we can cultivate our capacity to center ourselves. For me, rolling out the yoga mat and practicing asana is quite reliable in helping me center myself. My yoga matt becomes like a tiny home base no matter where I travel on my outward or inward journeys. More ordinary things are useful too- like taking a walk, or sitting and having a cup of coffee. Boy there is something about just holding my favorite coffee cup in my hands warm with coffee that helps me settle into myself, into my day. I wonder what it is for you? [pause] Because each of us is absolutely unique, so is what we experience, and so there are many tools and practices that we can use to find center.
I’d like to try a couple of experiments with you now. Please listen to your inner wisdom about these practices, and notice what feels interesting, and especially if you hear feedback “this is not for me right now.” Everything is optional.
First let’s start by finding any place in your body that feels good or neutral-- boring, ordinary even... If any of these experiments don’t work for you, just return to that spot. How nice to have someplace ordinary and neutral to return to.
Next, let’s try another one, notice your breath just however it is naturally, and bring your attention to the tip of your nose, just where the air comes in and out, just notice that for a few breaths. ..
If your attention wanders, just gently invite it back, each time like a fresh homecoming...
When you’re ready you can let that go, or stick with it if you are enjoying that.
Now try bringing your attention and sense of self into your feet, or whatever your weight is resting on. Let your attention pool and settle there...
Last, I invite you to bring your attention into the center of your chest, the place we associate with the heart. Allow your attention to fill up the whole volume of your chest and just notice the way the chest rises and falls with the breath...
Now expand your attention to your whole self. What do you notice? How do you feel? There are no wrong answers...
There is a truism in astrophysics that “Any spot in the Universe can be considered the center, with equal validity.”[i] In a way we are like that, we can chose where to center our attention as we just did. For me when I focus on my nose, it has a clear precise quality when I settle into it. When I focus on my feet or legs or wherever my weight is resting, I feel very grounded, strong like a mountain. Usually when I meditate, I choose the center of my chest, which helps me get in touch with my own feelings, and with my compassion and connection for others. But if I am sad or worried, I prefer to settle into my feet, or some other strong, stable place.
Many traditions teach a variety of paths to finding center, but it is not the only state of mind taught by the spiritual traditions. Sometimes when people talk about a religious experience, they talk about transcending the ordinary and the everyday, or losing their sense of self, about dissolving into the hugeness of something larger. Sometimes we cultivate a diffuse sense of awareness, where we are listening to everything around us, or just trying to fall asleep. Often when I sit on my porch in the spring I bring this kind of diffuse receptive awareness, which I find to be the best mindset to learn things about what’s happening in my ecosystem.
The point of being alive is not just to be perfectly centered at all times. One very important part of our work as UUs is learning how to de-center ourselves. If we always think of ourselves as the center of the universe, we can’t grow in compassion and our viewpoint will be limited. That’s part of what’s challenging and wonderful about building community- learning to be open to one another’s point of view, to do things in the service of others. When we visit a loved one in the hospital, for example, it’s good to leave our own concerns at the door, and be attentive to what they need in the moment. At the same time, folks who are used to being other-centered, will find it a real challenge to find and speak from their own center. I have a friend who always answers the question “how are you” by telling me how her family is. And so we practice finding our own center, and we also practice centering others. Whenever I hear myself saying “so and so is making me feel a certain way” this is a clue I’m off center. I can’t change so and so, but from the point of view of my own center, I can determine what is mine to do, and how I want to respond. If we practice returning to the center, asking ourselves “what do you need in this situation, what do you want, what do you feel?” eventually it helps disentangle from the situation just enough so that we can discern a path forward with integrity to themselves and autonomy of the other.
This is especially true when it comes to anti-oppressive work; folks who have the privilege of having their point of view centered and normalized, can practice stepping out of the center and inviting in the voices of those who have traditionally been on the margins. At the same time, folks who are used to being decentered, we invite to courageously speak from their own center.
My invitation to you this week is a playful one. Just notice, from time to time, whether you feel centered, and when you feel something else- decentered, expansive, diffuse, scattered. All of these ways of being have a use, and it’s nice to be able to choose to return to center when that would be helpful. I invite you to experiment- how do you know when you have found center? what helps you find your center? What takes you out of our center? Are there things you can do to help yourself return to center? Just notice and explore, experiment and play. Let us offer one another support and blessings for our return journey home, again and again and again.
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